Courage by Rose Holman

Written by Rose H.

When I was young I wanted to do something big, something scary, something amazing. I wanted to prove to others (if not myself) that I was brave and strong. This was hard to do since I was short, scared of my own shadow half the time, and didn’t like taking risks. I wasn’t even sure what I would do to prove myself. Yet I desperately wanted be brave, overcome the odds, and make a name for myself.

As the years progressed I thought I had missed my chance. Other people got the chances to be brave and daring while (or so it seemed) I got left behind. I would be the cheerleader, not the one on stage. It hurt. I felt like a failure. I wanted to do something big, but I was stuck.

It didn’t stop me from dreaming though. In my dreams I was the shining actress, the beautiful socialite, or the brave woman who is overcoming all odds and saving the world (a girl can always dream right?).

Then God began to work on my heart and the attitude that I had. “I love you for who you are, not what you do,” God would tell me. “I want you to do what I have called you to do for now. Not try to ‘prove’ yourself.” It was hard news to hear. Would that mean that I would have to give up all my visions of being an actress? Saving peoples’ lives? Making the big headlines? I realized that so many of these dreams were about me…my wants, my perceived needs, and my desire to do something great.

God’s desire was that I love Him and let Him love me.

It was a hard battle. But God helped me to realize that the most important things are not what we do, but the relationships that we have with others. This lifted a great weight from my shoulders. No longer did I have to do anything to validate myself. I was loved for who I was.

Still, there were dreams. Dreams of being brave, doing something out of the ordinary, or having great courage. Now however I had given them to God. They were His to do with as He pleased. I tried to follow His lead. Sometimes I did better than at other times.

So this year God made some of the dreams come true. I got to write some plays, star in a play, sing at a small music festival, and travel (I’ll put off saving the world until later). But you know what? All of this is God working in my life. I could never do anything good.

Through God’s power, He is enabling me to be brave, strong, and daring.

He has filled the hole of my needs and wants with His love, grace, and peace.

There are still times when I shake a little. The future is uncertain. What if things don’t go the way I want them to? But then He reminds me of His promise, “In this world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have overcome the world.” There’s that word courage again. Taking it is hard sometimes, especially on “normal days.” There’s work to get done, to-do lists to accomplish, rooms to clean, blog posts to write, and family that wants to be thrown into the mix. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and want nothing more to run away. It’s on these days that God wants me to live with courage. To stand tall and work for God, knowing that He will make my hands strong for the task. He wants me to look upward and know that whether I get all of these things done or not, I should do them for Him.

So I’m trying to live each day in the courage He provides. It’s been an amazing journey so far. And I look forward to the years to come of learning how to live courageously, bravely, and daringly.

Why not join me?