Official: How I Became His Girlfriend

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Read on for the story of May 5, 2015, the night we became official and I became his girlfriend.

Exactly a year ago, this was my thought:

I don’t know how to do this.

When I sat down to dessert with him at that posh downtown place about six weeks after we had started dating (and only nine weeks after we had met!)…that was my first thought. He stepped away from the table for a moment, and I took the time to let #AllTheThoughts roll through my mind. Though I’d been expecting it tonight, still it required some processing:

We had stood at the pier and watched the sunset. Then he had asked if I would like to officially be his girlfriend. I said I’d like that. A pocket of silence passed, and I shot away from where I’d been standing beside him and just sort of stared at the grin on his face.

“Did that just happen?” I asked aloud. And he laughed that she’s-adorable laugh I love so much.

Confession: I still don’t know how to do this. This dating thing.

Or this marriage thing.

It doesn’t help that he’s so good at it. He drops by my office to bring me flowers or just to say hello. He opens my truck door. Every time. He studied Passion and Purity with me–his idea. Then Love and Respect.

For months, he watched movies with me with miles of space between us on the couch. He didn’t mind that the first time we held hands on the couch, it took me twenty minutes to put my hand down so he could cover it with his–even though his has been lying there patiently the whole time.

He never pressures or lies or blows up mad or speaks down to me. And I just stand there in awe and wonder if this is really happening and tell him some of the things he says sound like they’re out of a movie script.

I ask him if he’s real and he says Yes without hesitation.

I ask him if we’re really doing this and the answer is unswervingly the same.

My heart was fickle at first and tried to pull away, to safety, but I couldn’t get enough of hearing him talk about books, movies, me, future plans. Still can’t. He helps me take the trash out, sees when I flinch at the movie theater, and notices when my shoulders bunch in a crowd. He’s watching. Waiting. Hoping I’m his.

{Now I will be forever his girlfriend. On June 11th.}

I’m uncertain and unsure and blurt things I shouldn’t and outright told him when I didn’t trust him. Although that last? Didn’t last long. How could it when he proves himself so trustworthy? Proves himself so much more than I expected.

Of course, I never expected him to arrive that night we met. The second time we met, when we talked at church for an hour because he asked if he could sit next to me, he expected to date me. Right then and there, he knew. While I waffled for weeks and later almost told him no when he asked me out the very first time.

After Official, we settled in to getting to know each other better and seeing if this is for Real and Forever. It tore my insides apart sometimes, all the uncertainty, all the not-knowing-what-to-do, and then I would look at him and start to settle.

And now we’re settling down, and it is all I’ve ever wanted and so much more…

I can’t believe how far we’ve come in this one year. What a year to remember.